Wednesday, October 28, 2009

So that's how that stuff happens....

Being a movie/t.v. junkie since birth I can't possibly recall how many times I've seen the cliche' of the repair/delivery man boffing the lonely house wife scenario. Personally, I've never really understood how that happens. How one minute, a dude is hooking up your cable box and the next minute your doing the nasty with him in the kitchen floor. However, I can see now if I WAS lonely or just a tramp how these situations may come about.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a repair man out to fix our mangled dishwasher. Young, handsome, Russian "Yuri". Probably all of 24 with serious svelte oozing from his extremely tight pores. He took fixing the Maytag incredibly seriously to the point that even after he'd solved the problem, he said I also should get a new handle and face plate.

"Your home varranty covers it so vy not?" he queried in his thick Russki accent.

It had to be ordered however so that meant a second trip out which leads us to yesterday. When he showed up this time I could tell he'd had a hair cut,his uniform was pressed and he seemed nervous for some reason. I was getting ready for work so I left him to his job while I continued curling my hair. When I returned, he was finishing up and we chatted for a moment.

I noticed it was the first time he'd really made eye contact with me since he got there and as we conversated, he had that look. Ya know the one that says, "I think you're cute or whatever".

Now, I don't get flirted with that often and when I do it's usually guys my age or older, not the young stuff. The youngsters I encounter are generally into that whole "I eat one meal a day/skinny jeans" look but I suppose they like brawny lasses where he's from. I giggled like a 6 yr. old and my ego was bursting from the seams when he returned from his van with my receipt. That's when this could've went into full blown cliche' as all of a sudden he became incredibly confident, leaning against my door jam and looking me up and down slowly.

"Iz dare anything else I can do for you?"

Holy shit, he was offering me penis. I couldn't believe it and I chuckled sheepishly.

"No, I'm good."

I am good dammit. But if I wasn't....oh brother.

"Are U sure about dat?"

All I can say is that I'm satisfied with life, my marriage and I hate drama so my reply was instant. "Yep, I'm sure."

Yuri didn't press the issue but instead gathered his tools and chagrin before leaving my house for good. The dishwasher's like brand new so I doubt he'll need to come back out. Thankfully.




  1. The government needs to step in and do something about this. Satisfying Desperate Housewives should NEVER be outsourced to the Russians.

  2. Obviously the universe likes a challenge and will have to up its game if it.

  3. ...always nice to know you can still swing it, though, eh?

  4. Lol! That's funny.

    Although the electricians I had working at home the other day said my wife was "nice".

    Now I am worried what nice means???!!!!????

  5. Barnes- Yeah....hmmmm... maybe Clive Owen in a tool belt might be too much to resist? I'd surely try though. hehehe.

    Flinthart- You know it brother! Definitely put some pep in my step to know I might be a hot commodity at a frat house in Moscow.

    Nautilus- TOO FUNNY! I think you know what "nice" means. However, I'm sure she is actually nice though that's probably not what they were thinkin' when they were fiddling with your wires.

  6. Good thing there is a missile treaty in effect eh?

  7. Naut, they were electricians. What they meant was, "your wife looks like she knows how to handle 120 volt appliances, wink-wink-nudge-nudge."

  8. Oh Heidi. Now you'll be wondering the rest of your life... what if? Perestroika.