Monday, July 6, 2009

Women don't like looking at Naked Dudes


As it turns out, once the fall out was over, I.T. blocked Facebook, Youtube, Myspace, Playboy and ....what the hell....Playgirl?

We were told that folks in the office had surfed all of these sites and that they were the result of the assload of viruses that were downloaded.

At lunch on Friday as all of us hens sat clucking around the table, we started talking about how obviously one of the Dr.'s had been on but who the hell was on Playgirl?

NONE of us, as it was revealed, like looking a naked dudes. It just doesn't do anything for most chicks. Now there were a couple of gals who admitted that they enjoyed going to "male dance reviews" but they were definitely in the minority. For the most part we all agreed that men are sexier when their third leg is covered. At the time none of us could really come up with a reason as to why there are 50 different nudie girl mag's at the checkout of any gas station but nothing geared for women except that men are just more into the "visual". The same reason they generally have better hand/eye coordination. We all agreed the only reason Playgirl lasted as long it has is because of gay men.

But as my hubby and I talked about it that evening he was really thrown off. He didn't know that I'm not really into it.

"So if there was a naked pic of David Beckham-you wouldn't want to see it? Bullshit." he declared.

I know nothing of soccer except that in my opinion it has produced the hottest fucking athelete of all time. He makes me swoon. But I don't really care to see him spread out in a magazine. Maybe in his boxers in "Details" or shirtless in a pair of loose jeans but that's it.

"Why?" he asked. "I just don't get it."

What I realized is that when a dude is laying there in the buff he comes off as being vulnerable and that's just not sexy to me. There's something bitch-like about it and I would venture to guess that alot of women feel the same way.

Sidebar-One lady was prompted to offer up a story her husband told her about a new guy he worked midnights with some years back. She said that it was the dude's first night on the job and they were all sitting around looking at a Playboy and talking "man shit". Like who was into tits, asses, legs....just their preferences. The new guy piped up and said that he was into pigs. PIGS. Her husband and his buddies laughed their asses off and chalked it up to "the new guy fucking with them."

The next night the guy comes in with proof of his proclivity. During their 2 a.m. bull session he busts out his favorite magazine...... "PlayBoar". According to her husband it was glossy page after glossy page of pigs dressed in tu-tu's and other outfits posed seductively for their potential admirers.

They fired him on the spot.

I tried to see if there was a website for it (I'm sick) but all I could find was this.....



  1. I've chalked up a few pigs in my day!

  2. Lermontov loves the chase. And pigs can be hard to catch when they get going.

    Seriously though...that magazine is messed up.

    As far as your office goes, there's a possibility one of the girls in your office looked at playgirl but was too embarrassed to come forward with it, especially when the rest of you said they didn't like it. It's just like most people will say they don't watch porn, yet it's a billion plus dollar industry.

    And is that Burt Reynolds?

  3. Lermontov-Haven't we all?

    Cartguy-Your theory could be correct but I've been leaning more towards one of our ambiguious male physicians.

    And why yes-Yes that is Burt Reynolds. hahaha.

  4. I can't believe Photo bucket took it down!

  5. Yeah, the visual/pron thing is an issue for some folks. I got into trouble back at university when I argued that the predominance of naked women in porn spoke more to men being visually excited than it did to the Vile Patriarchal System Dominating and Exploiting Innocent Wymmyn. I even pointed out that in most of the great apes/primates, females signal their readiness visually...

    Funny thing was that the all-female coterie in my tutorial group took me aside and quietly told me they thought I was talking sense. It was the middle-aged Christian Feminist tutor who wanted me strung up for heresy.

  6. Flinthart-I can't imagine what a fabulously open mind a "Christian Feminist" would have. Self righteous boring old hag.

  7. Every woman I've ever talked to has said something similar about Playgirl, which leads me to believe the gay guy in your office was checking it out. And if there's not a gay guy, there's a guy pretending awfully hard to appear straight.