Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Fatty-ette


O.k., that’s me about 8 years ago when Hubby and I moved in with his parents after our relocation from Detroit to Georgia. The décor of the junk room we were staying in was almost as bad as my lifestyle. Notice the ice cream sandwich, Diet Coke next to the Evil cigarettes on the upscale glass and brass coffee/table lamp. So functional.

I posted this pic so that you know that I definitely have a frame of reference when I say how ridiculous I thought the premier of “More To Love” was last night. If you haven’t seen the promo or it’s not on in your Country (count your blessings), the premise is that a big/tall guy who’s into hefty gals is set up in a mansion with 20 chunky monkeys. Some much chunkier than others by the way. http://www.fox.com/moretolove/

Any who, what I noticed was the fatter they were the harder they cried in the confessional booth thing. It was fucking ridiculous. Oh and the reason why I knew one was fatter than the other was because their weight and size were displayed in a box beside of their sobbing faces. Look, I know what it’s like to be fat but rather than sit around and fucking bawl your eyes out about how nobody asks you out, how bout stop being a slob? It’s possible, trust me.

Admittedly I was lucky. I didn’t get that large and in charge until after hubby and I were married, but he loved me for me and stuck around until I decided to do something about it. He never made ONE shitty remark to me about my weight in the entire 4 years that I was a Hogzilla. However, I do think this photo op was his passive aggressive way of letting me know it was not very cool. But since I’ve lost it, he treats me the same. Don’t get me wrong, he’s happy about it for sure, but even if I was still a pork-pie he’d still love me.

If I was still single and super hammy at this age though, I sure as hell wouldn’t be looking for a guy who was just “IN” to fatties. If he liked me in spite of my fatitude that’s one thing but if it were BECAUSE of it….that’s just weird, I’m sorry. And I also wouldn’t be on national television CRYING about being a lard ass. Pathetic.

Incidentally one of the girls I work with was going to try out for this show but backed out. She is fucking HUGE. Perfectly round and not very cute. Watching the show last night what I can say is that most of the girls did have very beautiful faces and hair so you can see how some guys would still find them attractive even in their weight class. My co-worker wouldn’t have had a chance but you can’t tell her that. She has so much self-confidence that it gags my ass. That’s mean, but it’s true.

17 comments:

  1. Good for you...and good for your hubby.

    Let's hope your work mate doesn't read this, though. On the other hand, maybe she should.

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  2. If you have a fetish for awkwardness at work, like that one guy on the show has a fetish for big-boned women, only then should you reveal your blog to your coworkers.

    Until then, I would keep this a secret.

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  3. Honestly, even if she read this it wouldn't affect her. She's that confidant. She would say that I'm jealous or something. Several of us told her for months that the guy she was dating was OBVIOUSLY gay and that he was using her as a "beard", as he hadn't so much as touched her. Not until HE told her did she believe it.

    We were talking about that show "Made" on MTV the other day and one of my co-workers said "What's the exact opposite of Christine? What would she go on that show and be made into?"

    I said "How about a humble person?"

    It killed!

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  4. Hmm.

    It's definitely not about body shape and size for me, though my various partners have been in the healthy weight range. Having said that... I have no understanding at all of the fat-fetish. Of course, I don't understand fetishes in general. That's part of the definition of fetishism, after all.

    But I think you're right. If you're over the bag limit, the answer is NOT to find a guy who is wild for the wobble, but to free the thin person inside, struggling to get out.

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  5. I have a shoe fetish and still at times...a food fetish. But I'm with you on the fat fetish. I've always been into personality first and foremost and looks second so if the guy wasn't all that but really cool, I didn't care what he looked like.

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  6. In Australia if they show it I missed 'More To Love' but they did air one episode of
    'Dance your ass off' before pulling the series.

    Who thinks these things are a good idea?

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  7. Barnes, I think it's simply an issue of A, Hollywood running out of ideas (some of the movies that have been remade and/or made into sequels is appalling), and B, having 500 channels and desperately needing SOMETHING to put on the air. When the reality shows on MTV started getting better ratings, they realized they needed a second channel for those who still wanted to see DMR lip-synch "Come on Eileen."

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  8. Barnesm-I know...it's incredibly lame. It borders on "freakshow" appeal but you must realize that ours is the same society where you are famous for NOTHING. Ask Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.

    Steve- When you call Dexie's Midnight Runners DMR, it makes them sound so much cooler. Don't ever do that again.

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  9. But I don't respect them enough to take the time out to spell the complete name.

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  10. Fair enough! It just came on not more than 10 minutes ago over the Muzak. I thought that was torture enough until it was followed up by "Manic Monday" by the Bangles. And now..."Love Cats" by the Cure. 80's overload!

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  11. If they played "You Spin Me Round", I might have to put in a job application there.

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  12. Uh, something tells me you'd be over qualified. But it sure would be nice to work with someone who's pretty cool vs. the cornucopia of dumbass bitches I currently break rocks with.

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  13. You're probably right. Besides, if I really wanted to shell out the money I would get satellite radio in my office, and leave it on the 80's channel all day. Which I totally would do, if I wasn't cheap.

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  14. You KNOW they're only on there for the freak show factor. Who would volunteer for it?. Crazy.

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  15. Totally Moko! It's pitiful that some people will take ANY kind of fame even if it's completely degrading.

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  16. Great post Heidi, takes courage to let it all hang out. I'll be back.

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  17. Awww thanks man, come back anytime!

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