Thursday, May 7, 2009

Really Citigroup? Really?

So's I get home last night and there's an extremely gracious note from "Citigroup" illuminating me to the fact that they will be raising my interest rate for no apparent reason and if I didn't like it then I should just pay up and get to steppin' with my loan needin' self.

Those ball licking bastards have no regard that this is a line of credit that I've agreed to pay back over 5 years or that I've never been late on a payment and always slide some extra to go against the principle. But I think what pisses me off the most is that they basically told me "If you don't like it, blow us."

It's just about the most craptabulous customer relations I've ever been a party to. Is this how they'll ultimately frickin' crush us? The middle class I mean. People who take out small loans for improvements and pay it back responsibly. We get the ass raping? That's genius!

YET just yesterday in the Dr.s office where I work, a patient called in who could barely speak english but wanted to know why we don't accept Medicaid.

Fuck you, that's why. Why do you have Medicaid and you can't speak English? Answer that shit.

God knows, I have no answers about the state of our Country. I question everything and get zero understanding of what is happening. NO, I take that back. I get it and it sucks.

But through all of this injustice foisted upon regular Joe's as were squeezed into a grey limbo of hovering just above the poverty line, I find I'm laughing more than ever. Take today for example....

As our clinical supervisor sauntered her extremely round self past my cubicle, I overheard her tell an employee (in her best South Georgian drawl ) "He'll be pickin' up that form fer' that Cancer Camp in just a bit, he ain't gotta sign fer it."

I'm an asshole so I couldn't help but ask "Heya.... what kinda activities do they have at cancer camp?"

Now what I expected was "Shut up you smartass bitch" but what I got was so much better.

"Welllll (neck poppin')what the fuck you think they got? They got the "one -titty wet t-shirt contest" and then there's the "who can hold their food down the longest?" contest. There's an amputee sack race and if that it'n enough they got the "who lost the most weight this week" challenge..... dumbass."

And as quickly as her Scatman Caruthers gait could carry her....she was gone. She was gone and I was left in a deathlock of a laughing fit that lasted for at least 5 minutes. It was glorious.

I totally still want to slap Citigroup's face and if I ever get the chance BY- GOD- I- WILL.

But for the moment I guess it has to be blah blah acceptance blah blah blah.


  1. Well hello there. So Mel Gibson's supposed adultery got you to see my blog, eh? Well thanks for stopping by. If you're new to blogger you should scope out some of my favorites. We all used to be a closeknit writing group on a website that crashed back in December, and we all relocated to blogger shortly after.

    There's some cool people there and some talented writers. The people are from all over the world: Canada, the United States, United Kingdom, New Zealand, Australia, Germany...there's even one guy from Atlanta like you. Scope 'em out and join the fun!

    And good luck to your novel.

  2. And I wouldn't say you've never finished anything in your life. You finished that sentence, at least.

  3. Hey thanks man and yes I'm totally new to blogger. But now that my "blog cherry" has essentially been popped, I'm all about's it.

    Your writing is stupendous and no bullshit here, it's kinda what made me decide to give blogging a shot. I think I can actually sustain short bursts of creativity and at least finish an entry.

    I will definitely be checking out your cohorts.

  4. Well I'm glad that you like blogging so far. I held out for a long time and was essentially dragged into it by my sister. She was the writing type, not me. I haven't looked back since.

    It's an extreme honor that you like my writing and that it pushed you toward blogging. From what I've seen you have a talent for it as well. Hope you stick around!

  5. Thanks dude! That means alot.

    I'm definitely developing a taste for it.

    I have no doubt you WILL certainly be widely recognized for your work some day. It's brilliant.