Excerpt from a Screenplay I'm working on....PLEASE tell me what you think!

This is just a rough draft/outline of the beginning, I've got a lot more. Abandoned it months ago and think it's time to start focusing on it again. I'd really just like to know if any of you find it interesting? Like..would you want to know where it's going? I'll be grateful for any constructive criticism ya got! :)

FADE IN:
INT. AMUSEMENT PARK - NIGHT
Two girls ANN and MICKEY both (14)are running frantically
through the park. They are soaking wet and dressed in
typical late eighties fashions. "Joy and Pain" by Rob Base
plays in the background as they smash into small children,
run into garbage cans...basically accosting everything that
is in the way to their destination. They argue as they pound
the pavement with all their might.

MICKEY
You jackass! I told you we
shouldn't have ridden the log ride
last! The line was too long! If we
miss the bus my dad is going to
filet me!

ANN
(panting)
Oh shut up, they're not gonna leave
us moron!

MICKEY
It's 7 thirty! We were supposed to
be ON the bus by 7:15.

EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK EXIT/ PARKING LOT - NIGHT
CONT.
Across the vast parking lot the girls spy a CHARTERED BUS
with it's headlights ON in the distance. Ann starts to drag
a bit.

MICKEY
You chunky turd, don't stop now!
Run!

Ann speeds up her pace again as they plod on.

ANN (V.O.)
(calm)
It was two days before summer
vacation in 1987 and the annual
end of the year trip to Cedar
Point was a must at George
Washington Carver High.

INT. BUS - NIGHT
CONT.
The girls bound on to the bus in a panic and screech to a
halt beside the driver, attempting to catch their breath.As
they scan the bus for a seat it becomes very apparent that
BOTH of their races are very much in the minority. Most
every kid on the bus is black and it is jam packed except
for a spot open by an adult who we assume is a teacher.

ANN
(under her breath)
Shit.

Before Ann can even make a move for the open seat, Mickey
dives for it.

MICKEY
(empathetic)
Sorry man...

ANN
Thanks Mickey. You suck.
Ann just stands there staring at the uninviting faces as we
hear nothing but the diesel engine idling in the background.

TEACHER
Alright Ann, go find a seat so we
can get moving. You girls have
kept us waiting long enough.

Ann begins the slow, torturous walk down the aisle scanning
for any place she can find. She makes it all the way to the
L-shaped benches in the back where a small crack that she
can slip into comes into view. As she attempts to make her
way over to it, the kids spread out so that is no longer
there. She continues to stand there until the teacher
finally grows weary of waiting and comes back to assess the
situation.

TEACHER
All right, you kids move the hell
over and let this girl sit down.
I'm tired, I'm hungry and done
with any type of foolishness for
the rest of this trip.

BLACK GIRL
(disgusted)
But she all wet. I don't wanna sit
next to her drippin' ass for an
hour and a half.

Ann looks down at the floor shamed.

TEACHER
Don't you say another damn word
Trinity! You hear me? Move it!

Trinity moves over, allowing enough space as Ann takes her
seat and the teacher returns to his own. The bus begins to
MOVE and all of the kids (all of whom are black) look at Ann
with hatred. Then the barbs start. Whisperings of "It smells
like Wet dog" and "that's what white trash smells like"
permeate Ann's hearing but her eyes do not leave the floor.

TRINITY
(snottily)
Damn girl,(pointing to Ann's
shoes)is you wearing Pro-Wings? Yo
mamma suck somebody's dick for the
five dollars to buy those at
K-mart?

Ann finally looks up at her verbal assailants.

ANN (V.O.)
Now before you go thinking these
kids are just a bunch of racist
assholes, there's a little more to
it than that. Up until a few days
ago, some of them were actually my
friends. And then..... this
happened.

CUT TO
EXT. GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER H.S. - DAY
Ann is walking with a cute black boy (14) in front of the
school. It's the end of the day and teens swarm about all
around them. He and Ann giggle and flirt innocently as they
stroll along slowly. BEHIND THEM, a muscle car comes to a
slow stop as we see the driver (Ann's stepfather Scott)
glaring at them with contempt. He is bearded, burly and blue
collar around every edge.

SCOTT
(yelling loudly
for all to hear)
Young lady (northern midwest
accent) I don't know what the hell
ya think your doin' but you better
get your ass in this car! We ain't
playin' no "Guess Who's Comin' to
Dinner" around our house!

Ann's face immediately transforms from carefree bliss to
absolute horror as she hears the words. Her friend just
looks at her with sadness as she makes her apologies and
runs for the car.

ANN
(to her step
father)
Jesus, Scott thanks a lot!

SCOTT
(still loud enough
for everyone to
hear)
Look, i don't know whatcha got in
your head but me and your mother
ain't havin' no nigger
grandbabies.

Ann turns to find many of the students standing, gawking,
mouths dropped open. She jumps in the car and Scott PEELS
out.

INT. BUS - NIGHT
CLOSE UP ON ANN'S FACE
TRINITY (o.s.)
Did you hear me bitch? I sade, did
yo mama buy you those cheap ass
shoes with her dick suckin' money?

ANN (V.o.)
My stepfather, in less than one
minute, had destroyed what little
bit of anything I'd made of myself
in the 4 years I'd spent at that
school. Had the trip not already
been paid for, I would've backed
out. Hell I would've backed out
anyways but Scott made me come. He
was a selfish idiot. And
apparently, I wasn't too bright
either.

ANN
Well...at least I don't have to
live with my grandma because my
mom is an ACTUAL crack whore.

Beat.

You ghetto piece of shit.

Instantly Trinity and several other kids ascend upon Ann and
start kicking her ass.

DISSOLVE TO
BLACK SCREEN-ONE MONTH LATER
INT. BASEMENT - DAY
Ann is vigorously riding an exercise bike and watching
"Stand By Me". She speaks along with each word. Knows it by
heart.

ANN (v.o.)
My suspension ate up the last two
days of school which seems lucky.
But really, all that meant was two
more days of Summer at my house.

Overhead, a MAN and WOMAN begin to ARGUE and we hear
something SHATTER on the floor. Ann acts as if she doesn't
hear as she continues on, mouthing along with the dialog
spoken by Richard Dreyfuss as he wraps up "Stand By Me". She
looks up at busted CLOCK on the wall, noting the time.
Quickly she dismounts the bike and ejects the VHS tape from
the player. She bolts up the basement stairs as the arguing
gets louder.

INT. SMALL KITCHEN - DAY
CONT.
Ann enters the sparsely decorated kitchen while her mother
SHARON and step-father continue their vicious argument.
Sharon is a small woman, wearing a nightgown and sporting
dark circles under her eyes that make her look well beyond
her 32 years. It becomes obvious that Ann is the subject of
their current argument.

SHARON
She's not going back there! Do you
understand me?

SCOTT
Well goddammit, what the fuck are
we supposed to do?

SHARON
You watch your filthy mouth
mister! Don't you take the lord's
name in vain in front of my
children.

Ann ignores the argument as she opens the refrigerator,
nothing's inside. She digs through a bowl of change on the
table as though neither of them exist and stuffs it into her
pocket.

INT. LIVINGROOM - DAY
CONT.
Two toddler girls sit in a playpen together in the dowdy
living room with seventies style furniture and rust colored
shag carpet. Ann stops only for a moment to kiss them both
on top of the head before exiting out the front door.

EXT. CRAPPY SOUTHWEST DETROIT NIEGHBORHOOD - DAY
Ann grabs an old ten speed that lays on it's side in the
yard, jumping on it and stopping just for a moment to sniff
the air before pedaling off.

ANN (V.O.)
Probably the worst thing about
living in our neighborhood was the
bread factory. We never had
groceries and smelling fresh,baked
bread every time you walked
outside ...well, I didn't know
what a perfect description of
irony that was at the time.

Ann rides her bike down the the narrow, cracked sidewalk
passing many delapidated houses and various down trodden
neighbors. Once on the main road she passes what appears to
be a couple of drug dealers on the corner who try to get her
attention. She pedals on to her destination (VIDEO STORE)
and once arrived, drops the bike to ground.

INT. VIDEO STORE - DAY
Ann returns the video to the counter and tells the clerk to
ring it up again.

VIDEO STORE CLERK
You know...(pointing around) we DO
have OTHER movies.

ANN
Yeah...but I want this one.
The clerk begins ringing up her order but not without some
psycho-anyalzation.

VIDEO STORE CLERK
Alright, whatever you say but I'm
beginning to worry about'cha
kiddo. It's summer, you should be
outside, living the good life,
playing with your friends. What
your doing is, I dunno, it's
startin' to get weird.

ANN
Well, I don't have any friends and
I have no interest in smoking
crack, becoming a hooker or
getting jumped into a gang
soooo...what else am I gonna do
around here?

The clerk purses his lips, handing her the video back.

VIDEO STORE CLERK
I have no argument for that. Enjoy
the movie...AGAIN.

EXT. SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF THE VIDEO STORE - DAY
CONT.
Ann shews a homeless man away from her bike before mounting
it and taking off.

ANN (v.o.)
I knew it was weird. Obsessive. I
didn't care. In some strange way,
the movie had become my only
friend. It had also been the
catalyst for my first ever serious
crush.

INT. ANN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Ann lays in her weathered, canopy bed thumbing through a
Tiger Beat magazine. Her walls are PLASTERED with posters of
River Phoenix. She's interrupted by a knock on the door.
It's her step dad.

SCOTT
Ay kiddo, you hungry? I got u some
ribs from Zukin's.

Ann just glares at him.

SCOTT
Oh c'mon...ain't you ever gonna
get over this? It's not that big'a
fucking deal. Those dumb monkeys
won't even remember this shit come
Fall.

ANN
Shut up, don't call them that! YOU
moved us to this neighborhood. Why
did you do that if you hated black
people so much? Was I supposed to
never have ANY friends?

SCOTT
#1...I don't hate black people. I
grew up in a different time,
during the race riots...you don't
know what that shit does to you.

ANN
Yeah, well I'm toast now. I did
everything to try a fit in there
and none of it matters. I might as
well be Adolph Hitler's step
child.

SCOTT
Alright, c'mon...the ribs are
gettin' cold. Your ma's in bed,
Motel Hell is about to c'mon
HBO....come out here and hang out
with me. Afternoon's kicked my ass
today, I need some company.

Ann reluctantly follows.
CUT TO
INT. LIVINGROOM - NIGHT
Ann sits indian style on the floor while Scott is stretched
out on the couch-both of them chomping on ribs and watching
Motel Hell. A rather violent scene appears on the screen and
Scott begins to cheer.

ANN (v.o.)
We had been doing this since I was
eight. Even on school nights
sometimes. We never had groceries
in the house so Scott knew he
could always lure me out with
food. Big reason I was a chubby
t.v. junkie. We would eat, watch
horror movies,never really saying
a word.

INT. BASEMENT - DAY
Ann is riding the exercise bike and watching "Stand By Me"
again while we hear yelling from above her head once more.
The door to the basement OPENS then SLAMS shut as her mother
Sharon comes bounding down the stairs. She walks over to the
VHS player, ejecting the tape which enrages Ann. They argue
for a second until Ann notices that her mother has been
crying. Sharon begins to sob again while smoking a cigarette
and twirling a wet rag on her finger over and over.

ANN (v.o.)
They said what mom had was called
a "religious breakdown". I dunno
if that's real, but after she told
us the seals of heaven were
opening in the living room one
night during Remington Steele,
they had to call it something.
Being pregnant for basically 2
years in a row messed her head up
I guess. She'd been back out of
the psych ward for 4 months but
she wasn't all right. Not by a
long shot.

ANN
(irritated)
Ohhh...what is it? Why are you
crying?

SHARON
Because I've had it. I can't stand
seein' you down in this basement
anymore.

Sharon takes the rag and wipes her eyes, and straightens up
with renewed vigor.

SHARON
(matter of factly)
We're going to West Virgina for a
few weeks. It's decided. Scott
will drop us all off at Granny and
Poppy's.

ANN
Wait,I thought you said they
didn't want us there, that we
weren't welcome.

Sharon drags on her smoke losing her defiant strength as she
exhales a white, puffy cloud.

SHARON
Please, don't make me admit I'm a
liar Ann. I can't do this ya know?
Can you understand that questions
are something I can't handle and
just believe me now when I say
that this will be for the best?
Please? Don't make me explain.

ANN
Uhhhh...whatever. I guess I'm
getting tired of watching this
movie anyways. When are we going?

INT. STATION WAGON(MOVING) - DAY
Ann sits smashed between two car seats (holding her sisters)
in the back. The song "Dead Man's Curve" plays loudly as her
step-dad Scott sings along in a high pitched voice to match
Jan and Dean's. Finally, Sharon grows weary as he leans into
her face with his rendition and she begs for him to shut up.
They argue as Scott feels like him taking her to the Sticks
should allow him to at least sing. He bitches about being in
bumble fuck and worries that they will all be raped by
hillbilly's and turned into sausage. Ann laughs while Sharon
groans with disapproval of how disgusting he is. Scott
suggests Mcdonald's for lunch and everything grows silent as
Sharon gives him a look that signifies imminent death.

ANN (v.o.)
Oh God, the very mentioning of
Mcdonald's was his attempt at
catapulting mom into a psycho fit.

CUT TO
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
Ann paces the floor until (o.s.) we hear a car come to a
stop outside and the door CLOSES. Ann runs to open the front
door, babies stumbling after her. Scott enters carrying two
bags of Mcdonald's as Ann practically rips the bags from his
hands doling out the food as quickly as possible.

ANN (v.o.)
A couple of weeks before Mom got
put away, she stopped letting us
eat. EVERYTHING was the devil's
food so we would have to be as
covert as possible. But nothing
sent her more over the edge than
Mcdonald's.

Everyone is gobbling down the food as Sharon emerges from
the bedroom. When she sees what's going down, she loses it
totally and begins stripping the food from her children's
hands before throwing it to the floor and smashing it into
the carpet with her feet. She screams wildly about how she
will not let Satan poison her children. The babies cry as
Sharon and Scott explode in a rager.

CUT TO
INT. STATION WAGON(MOVING) - DAY
Scott and Sharon scream at each other loudly as Ann rolls
her eyes while both of her sisters cry.

ANN (v.o.)
She had gotten over not letting us
eat at all but her position on
Mcdonald's stayed strong. It was
the devil's food and it wasn't
until years later that I'd
realize, in a way she was right.
But that was one of the worst
things about Scott. He loved to
torment mom.

EXT. MOVING STATION WAGON - DAY
A short montage of the trip shows the car crossing the
bridge into Huntington and the SIGN that reads "Welcome to
Wild Wonderful West Virginia." Several shots of the
landscape, churches and locals as they pass a sign the reads
"Harts Creek" population 1,546. The car begins slowing in
front of a compound of sorts. As they turn down into the
driveway we see three houses built in close proximity of
each other next to a large field that is home to horses,
chickens and pigs.

SCOTT
(sarcastic)
Oh this looks like TOO much fun.
Ay kiddo (to Ann) you sure you
wanna give up three weekends at
the drag strip for this?

SHARON
You keep your big mouth shut.
She's MY daughter and I know what
is best for her.

The car stops in front to the largest of the three houses, a
beautiful white three story with a tin roof. A gorgeous,
huge oak tree blankets the front yard with shade while the
right side is flanked with a full, lush garden. Two elderly
people a rail thin man and heavyset woman (GRANNY and POPPY
CHARLIE) emerge from the home to greet their guests. Sharon
is weary from the trip as she releases the toddlers as well
as Ann from their captivity. Granny squeezes them all, but
especially Ann before inviting them inside to eat.