Sunday, June 28, 2009

What? The Oxi-Clean dude died?

Alright now, I thought Mike Jackson was gonna be the end to this barrage of expected/unexpected celebrity deaths. O.k. MAYBE Billy Mays isn't actually a celebrity but he is apart of American Pop culture.

I've woke up to him trying to hock the "Awesome Auger" like a million times at 2 a.m. cursing myself for not shutting the t.v. off. Who's next? The "slap chop" moron? The head of "Ronco"? The "Snuggie" people? Will the old people in those "Rascal scooter" commercials finally drive off the side of the Grand Canyon?

It definitely sounds like whatever airline he flew into Tampa on yesterday is gonna get their asses sued off though.


  1. What the hell were you doing up at 2A.M watching infomercials, or is all covered under the offical secrets act?

  2. You know how it is when your married. You start unofficially assigning tasks. Mine is to shut the t.v. off because hubby usually falls asleep first.

    If I don't I get the 2 a.m. finger poke to the side and a "For the love of God woman, shut it off!"

  3. First the ShamWow incident, now the OxiClean tragedy. What is the world of infomercials coming to?

  4. I truly feel bad that Billy Mays is dead. He had an excellent reputation of selling quality products.

    Now, when Vince Offer was beaten up by a hooker, and bled so much they needed a truckload of ShamWow's to clean it up, I LOL'd. The only way that would've been funnier is if she castrated him with a SlapChop.

    Not that I'm advocating hookers castrating their clients, but I think it's very important that he not get anyone pregnant.

  5. Jessica- I don't know but I'm curious as to what kinda infomercials they run in Iceland?

    Steve-hahaha-Totally man. He looks like Leonardo Dicaprio and Johnny Knoxville combined their sperm and had a down's syndrome baby. No need for another one of those runnin' around.

  6. In that case, he needs the ContraceptiveSponge by ShamWow.

  7. Sorry for the absence...been crazy with school. Looks like you're kickin' some ass over here though. Cool stuff.

    I thought I read a report that said Florida has ruled out head trauma and reported Mays had heart disease. Regardless of what they say, I still believe he was gnawed on by a gator. Then again, I think everyone that dies in Florida is due to gator-gnashing.

  8. Steve-That's super absorbent!

    Cartguy - Hey no prob, however I will not lie - I have missed ya round these parts. I just assumed once you pushed me out of the nest, I was on my own. Ha!

    But yeah I heard that on the radio this morning to. Heart disease isn't a very interesting way to go. They could've jazzed it up a bit. Like maybe he had a heart attack because a gator jumped outta the shadows at him.

    Didja ever see the "Faces of Death" where the dude parachutes into the gator farm? It was special.

  9. My two older brothers had a teacher that parachuted into Normandy on D-Day. He landed, under fire, on gigantic pile of cow manure.

    And see, I thought everyone who died in Florida was either from:

    A. DUI
    B. Self-inflicted gunshot wound whilst cleaning a loaded firearm.

    Oh, and C...being kidnapped and murdered by your own mother for the media attention.

  10. Are there NO natural deaths in Florida? hehehe.

    Ouch on the last one though man. That bitch...I'm not even a big backer of Capital Punishment but they should drop HER naked,(butt-raped with broken bottles), bleeding ass into a fucking gator farm.

  11. They could just drop her off in some retirement village down there. Surely it wouldn't take but 30 seconds before some Blue Hair backed into her with a town car, and then, when they put the car into Drive, drag her body the entire 2 miles to Publix.

    And there are natural deaths in the old age communities, but let's face it, none of them are from there. Their obituaries appear in the New York Times, the Newark Star-Ledger, the Bergen Home News, and the Toronto Star.

  12. Bloody funny post - I did LOL - and again at the comments

  13. Steve-Hilarious! Ofcourse they'd be going to Publix or Golden Corral. And are you trying to insinuate that alot of the elderly that die in Florida are Jewish northerners? NOOO!!! Gasp!

    Lermontov- Thanks man!

  14. I remember this guy, but I won't miss the infomercial. R.I.P.

  15. He died wow i thought micheal jackson was going to be the star of the dead in 2009

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